Metta, is often translated as lovingkindness, or friendliness. Starting any endeavor, especially a practice designed to strip away what is false and takes you to the heart of truth like meditation, is best when you begin from a place of genuine compassion and care. I wish that I had been introduced to metta practice before I began other forms of formal meditation practice. In my experience, Metta has a way of softening the harsher edges of the inner critic. Over time, there can even develop a real tenderness toward the guardedness and fear that causes the inner critic to speak in such unkind ways.
I spent way too long battling with my mind, with thoughts, with emotions, with my very sense of who I was and who I might never be able to be. While I most certainly have many struggles still, metta has transformed the way I relate to myself, even in my worst moments.
The practice itself can feel a bit overly precious to some, especially when you first begin. For others, it is a profound and powerful fulfilling of a deeply felt, often ignored need. My advice is to do your best to suspend your judgements. Just do the practice. You are not required to feel any particular way. The truth is, the benefits just might sneak up on you.
The practice itself can be experienced in many ways but the way it is often offered is with the repeating of simple phrases. These phrases can be altered in any way that feels authentic to you. They range from simple and short to quite long and complex. A simple way to begin is:
May I be Well
May I live with peace and ease
May I be happy
Another version that I like working with is:
May I be safe
May I be free from inner and outer harm
May I live with peace and ease
May I be happy
Traditionally the practice begins with yourself, because we cannot offer others what we do not have ourselves. In reality, many people have a hard time being with themselves. Many of us carry so much insecurity and shame and self judgement. So, as we did in our meditation today, it is often helpful to begin with a dear friend or someone who the feelings for are easy and naturally uncomplicated, even beginning with a pet works well for some. We can also try working with ourselves as a small child. For many, that is the doorway in to a kinder self connection. The practice can then move on to others. To those we love, those we don’t have strong feelings for (we call this the neutral person), and even those we have difficulty with, even those who have caused us pain. We often end by sending the phrases of practice to all beings everywhere- sensing the same need and desire for compassion and care that exists in all of us. We will explore these other layers of metta later in the month. For now we will just try to touch in and cultivate the feeling in our own bodies. I have included a few links to articles and practices that I have found useful if you want to further explore the practice of metta!
Wholeheartedly,
kim
https://jackkornfield.com/meditation-on-lovingkindness/
https://tricycle.org/magazine/metta-practice/
https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditation-metta-lovingkindness/