You may have heard meditation described as taking the one seat in the center of your life, opening all the doors and windows and welcoming whatever comes to visit. This has always stuck with me.

This is no easy task, welcoming all that moves through a human life. It is however as task worth opening to. One thing that has helped me is a shift in my understanding of “welcoming” in this context. It does not mean that you need to like every experience but in the pushing away of experience, we end up adding pain and missing real moments in our lives.

Last year when I was on retreat, I cried for the first 3 days straight. I was not crying because I was reliving past traumas (though they were certainly in there). I was not crying because of the difficulties or stresses or how I hoped things could be different. I was crying because once I got really still, I was overcome by the grief of how many moments in my life I miss. How many moments happen with me not in that one seat at the center of my life. How many times my dear ones have been near and I was only half present, caught in replaying or rehearsing. All the smiles I missed, the closeness I didn’t really feel. Those moments that I can’t get back. While on retreat, I was overcome by the grief of that. As I sat with it, it solidified into my intention to stay dedicated to the practice. To take the one seat. To live more of the moments of my life present, and aware whatever those moments bring. I don’t want to miss one.

Wholeheartedly,

Kim